never stood up a guy.
once me and my sister left the place we said the exact things to each other. it sucks to wait for someone from 7.30 to 8.00pm and not receive a single call or when you call like a trillion times and the bloody person won't just pick up the phone. and when you finally received the call you hear some thunderous news like "i'm not...." and the phone ends.

thousand thoughts ran through my mind when we were waiting. sitting there like idiots, everything was planned nicely but it turned out to be a day of disappointment. a night i cried in public, a night i never wanted to return home. if you call that earth hour, then yes. it was totally down to earth.. pulled me back to reality and the earthly ground.

the tears i cried showed the disappointment i had, the childish act i never accepted. it has been with me ever since the day i understand what quarrels mean or what cold war means. but to see it right in front of me, was like some childish act prolonged for more than a week.

it was a day i never wanted to go home.
it was the night i would rather spend the night wandering the streets of singapore with my sister and not go home.
it was the night when we totally hurt by the closest people we ever had.
it was the night we entered the house acting as though we were the only people at home.
it was the only night i felt lost and felt that all i had ever since i was born was a lie.
it was the only day i felt that the crack is getting bigger or bigger than what we thought it is.
i really hope nothing bad would happen ever again.

what is home?

11:34 PM •