i'm feeling kinda useless now that is why i am dumping all my sucky feelings into my little blog. i don't get how i feel, cause i just get angry so easily whenever i talk to you. you just strike that matchstick just so easily compared to others. making me look like a petty bitch-ass.

i don't even know why you said we were best friends when you should be saying "hey, i treat you as a best friend at this moment, just to shut you up, just so you can accompany till someone comes along and accompany me. you are just my temporary best friend, just my replaceable best friend"

am i still not over you? or am i just pissed off my the change of closeness we used to have like the change of climate? i don't know. i never understood the feelings i had for you. i searched deep inside me, and what i found was uncertainty.
i don't know why i am so frustrated about, i don't know why i want to cry so badly once again. i don't know what i am doing! gosh if i knew i wont me getting so pissed off with him or with myself.

maybe i just can't stand the missing pictures that i was just so waiting for. it wasn't there, like a missing piece of a puzzle.

i hope that one day you wake up and find that you're missing me and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i can be. thinking maybe i'll be at the place where we first meet or places we once went that were so meaningful to me. maybe you would start thinking back about the things we sat we would do and regret not finishing what was left promised. i hope you rewalk the path we walked, to remember the days we once had. to go back to places we went just hoping to find me there. to read the conversations we had to know how much we once cared... and maybe you'll find hints and clues that i truely cherished the something special we once had. and even signs of me liking you and masking up my jealousy surrounded in me. you were just too blind to see how i felt for you or you might not even bother guessing...

10:49 PM •