ytd i thought you are going to try to make things work
you say you just wanted to talk to me
somehow i found it fake
you bought home waffles for me and i thought things might just work out
we did talk ytd but i totally felt backstabbed today
i felt the ache in me i felt the HATE in me
until today the feelings for you
change from disliked to just pure hate
i asked if he wanted to go to the IT fair ytd
like in a family but he replied that why dun u go?
since u are always at home
since u dun wan to give the family a chance
i got nothing to say...

when my sister broke the news out
the feelings of hate gushed all over me
i did not stop the tears from rolling down
even though i knew i was in vivo
when i questioned her today u snapped at me

i have a feeling i am going to be abandoned somewhere somehow. maybe one day u seeing a homeless 17year old person i think u all can suspect it is me
he said things as though he aint gonna want me anymore
if he knew it why didnt he let me off at the start of the year?
if i knew this was coming i would have asked qin kor whether i could start over at his house instead
now he expects me to wash my own clothes, next wad? cook my own dinner?
i dun wanna noe wads life when my sister goes to canada
so wad if i m a big fungus lying at home? does not mean i m ur maid okay?!
since u are not treating her as one why me?
if u hate me so much as ur daughter say so!

i so needed someone today with me
let me cry out and say wad i have to say out!
and not expecting the one to call me without even posting this..
was KARL LIM!
somehow he listened to me cry for like 5 mins without saying a word
even though i did not say anything to him i really wanted to thank him
i can act in the morning and afternoon that i m perfectly fine
but once at night, i would be practically sitting at one corner
trying to get myself out of the mess

now that i think
i got nothing to hold back
i wanted to say wad family?
but to see me drowning in my tears
i believe i got no rights to deny anyting

i totally wish someone will be there supporting me
and not ruining my morale
i feel empty very empty now

i dunno how to express myself
or even tell karl later
this could be the best way i m trying to say things out
not meant to be emotional and trying to get others attention
like he is ever going to read my blog and noe wad i m am being through


i was suppose to blog about today but i think i have utterly no mood to do that
wish JOOHONG a save trip to philiphines
take care and all the best.

9:39 PM •